Cetology

"I am aware that down to the present time, the fish styled Lamantins and Dugongs (Pig-fish and Sow-fish of the Coffins of Nantucket) are included by many naturalists among the whales. But as these pig-fish are a nosy, contemptible set, mostly lurking at the mouths of rivers, and feeding on wet hay, and especially as they do not spout, I deny their credentials as whales, and have presented them with their passports to quit the Kingdom of Cetology." (Chapter 32)

Figured Ishmael was talking about manatees here, but was thrown off track by that picture of the pig-fish and by that punk band. I haven't finished Chapter 32 yet, but Ishmael's so-called Cetology is off to a misguided start. Hadn't he ever heard of MAMMALS before? He should have listened to Linnaeus, who believed that whales had some distinctly unfishlike characteristics and to his other contemporary naturalists, who were on the right track grouping manatees with whales. Nevertheless, I LOLed when Ishmael deported manatees from the "kingdom" of whales and declared that whales are fish. People were stupid in the 1850's. They even confused manatees for mermaids (but maybe they were drunk and/or lonely). Makes me wonder what stupid things we believe to be true right now that turbo-bloggers in the year 2158 will think was really stupid.

The first manatee I ever saw was at SeaWorld Orlando and it ate iceberg lettuce. In college I adopted a manatee named Howie as a member of the Save the Manatee Club. For a mere $20, they fed Howie heads of iceberg lettuce and sent me a cookie mix with a manatee-shaped cookie cutter. I think I just might renew my membership.